When I was trying to make my mark in Hollywood back in the day, it was brutal.

🎬 And exciting!

Auditions included LOTS of driving the busy So Cal freeways just for that tiny shot at breaking into a magical industry. No guarantees, ever. Right? I wore a pager on my belt to get my audition calls. 😂 Then had to drive to the studio to get my sides (piece of script) to study for the audition. Then, maybe a day later, drive to the audition.

I had taken a ton of acting classes, acquired a cadre of acting coaches and was picked up by a really good agent at the time. I had left a career in biology and environmental ecology behind, was fairly successful at selling residential real estate at the time, and I thought perhaps this personal desire I had could actually become a personal goal.

I remember doing this entire audition process for a role where the character described me exactly. My agent and I were thrilled to get a shot at this audition. I drove to LA, picked up the side, drove back home, studied the script, drove to the audition the next day, and this is what happened.

I waited in the outer room with maybe 12 other guys that (shockingly) looked just like me, for my moment to see the Director and casting agent.

They called my name. I confidently walked through the now open door. I felt bad for the other guys sitting there waiting.

15 feet away the Director and Casting Agent looked up from their paperwork at me just for a momentary glance and the Director said: "No. Thank you." Then simultaneously both of their heads went back down to their paperwork. I never opened my mouth, never spoke a word. I turned and left the room. It was a long drive back to where I lived in Long Beach.

Brutal.

I walked out of the casting room and through the waiting area with a smile on my face as I passed those 12 other guys, and without showing it, had complete disbelief in my mind. (That’s what you call acting.) What just happened?

Well, in Hollywood, you very quickly learn not to let the word "no" personally impact you. For whatever reason, sometimes you're just not right for the role. And it really doesn't matter what was written in the specs for the character in the script. Now… there's a very important life lesson here:

It wasn’t all bad news. While filming a TV pilot for CBS Summer Playhouse in which I had a very small part, I met an amazing man: Ji-Tu Cumbuka (RIP🙏). Sadly, we lost this wonderful, funny and talented man in 2017.

Please understand, I was really new to the business. And honestly, I probably got this part because of my hair. I was playing the part of an owner of a hair salon that had a team in a bowling league. The bowling alley was the set-up for the TV pilot. Think “Cheers” without the booze. The “Bill Cosby Show” on NBC was the number one show on TV at the time. (Yeah, that Bill Cosby.)

Ji-Tu accepted me instantly. This was highly unusual compared to the recording sets that I had been on previously. Even though we were on this set for a single quick day together, he made me feel like a real part of the team. He let me in on inside jokes on the set. He made certain that I knew where the craft services were (tables of food and beverages). He pointed out a couple other actors on the set so that I knew who they were: Dorian Harewood (boy, he was serious at the time) and Eric Fleeks (funny right out of the gate). This was truly enlightening to a newbie. Ji-Tu made a distinctly positive impact on me. He had accepted me for what I was trying to do.

Unfortunately, the TV pilot was not picked up by CBS. (Welcome to Hollywood.) But this isn’t the whole story…

This story is my way of showing you that life usually unfolds in ways you might never expect. And that one single story doesn't typically make a life. (Although I'm sure we could discuss that point. Some single stories can be that impactful.)

Here, what can honestly be defined as a short-term acquaintance in a business relationship had an impact on my life. This is one of my personal stories to demonstrate that any person you come across in your life path, will have some impact on you. Some positive, some negative, some… not much at all. But in every case, you should treat that person with respect and listen to what they have to say. Be interested. It just might be important.

Of course there's this quote that I always find hilarious. And true.

In my case, almost 10 years in Hollywood clearly demonstrated to me that casting agents and directors were looking for someone other than me in leading roles. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t valuable. It just meant that in this specific instance, this path wasn’t the exact right one for me. I learned a tremendous amount from this path. But I needed to work harder to figure out just what my optimal path was.

Circumstances in my life led me towards business in other directions. "Circumstances" occur in everyone's lives. But if you're not open to them, you'll miss them, and the possibilities that might be contained in them. So please, pay attention when life gives you a potential inflection point. Sometimes I call these "intersections". You know, something crossed my path.

Listen closely… Every single one of these intersections on my personal path educated me about something. Each one contributed to the essence of who I was becoming. They all summed-up to create my life. No small thing, that.

Now … I have lots of other stories. LOTS of them.

But I’ll tell you about more of those later. Suffice it to say that many years later, when I realized I was sitting in a darkened control room, where our two-man crew was personally responsible for supervising the real time operations of the electric power grid of the western half of North America (two Canadian provinces, 14 US states and Baja Mexico, with a total population of about 84 million people at the time), I realized that I had created a good life. My crew partner and I joked that we were keeping civilization alive. But that really isn't a joke. How would our modern civilization survive without electricity? And on a very broad scale, that's exactly what we were doing. It felt good.

So what did I learn from my encounter with an unusually kind man in Hollywood? What bits of wisdom had been implanted and confirmed?

🔵 Be patient.

🔵 Be aware and keep your eyes and ears open.

🔵 Be open to what others around you have to say.

🔵 And certainly, when a time arrives for you to help someone else, do if at all possible.

🔵 Above all, treat everyone you come across with respect. As my father used to tell me (I'm not really sure where he got this, but I've never forgotten it):

🔷 Mutual respect and an open mind are important characteristics of a successful person.

🔷 Don’t let “no” define you.

P.S. Maybe one day I’ll tell you about acting with Kate Mulgrew on the film Throw Momma From The Train, or about my encounter with Danny DeVito on his first film as a Director, or came this close to getting on the cast of Star Trek The Next Generation (dang). Or how I got a role on a #1 soap opera. Or even how I had an exciting on-set introduction to Kirstie Alley. Maybe not that last one …

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